As been said
by me at just about every meeting that I go
to ... Hello every one my name is Dave and
I'm an alcoholic.
I say a short
story because my drinking career was quite
short. I started, like most I guess, in high
school when it was hip to drink. I had grown
up in foster homes most of my life and never
seemed to fit in anywhere; it's hard to when
you don't belong. The first time I went out
and got drunk with school friends, I truly
believed that I had found my click. I could
out drink almost any one in school, for once
I was better then others at something (I have
since learned that there is more), see the
pattern. The one thing I felt that I was good
at and that was accepted, was what would
almost kill me.
After high
school (only grade 10), I joined the Canadian
Armed Forces and lasted only 3 months. After
that I decided to travel and find adventure.
I traveled the states and earned money any
way I could. I drove race car, ran drugs,
blocker car and other... I partied and had
fun. At this point I was already a blackout
drinker as well as a violent one. I remember
more of my drunks by the aftermath rather
then the drunk itself. I was told many times
that I had a drinking problem, and my answer
was always the same, I don't have a drinking
problem, I drink, I get drunk, I fall down,
no problem. It was about this time that I met
someone very special. I saw her the first
time in a club in Portland where she was a
dancer and waitress, that night I watch her
and began to dream of a life. The next night
I went back and sat in her section and spoke
to her for the first time, and it was as if
the heavens had opened and I saw an angel.
The third night I decided to have her to
myself for at least one night, so I bought
out here section in the bar. We spent that
evening together and I took her home and
never really left.
Our life for
the next several months was good; my drinking
tapered and became almost normal. Then the
nightmare began. I was sitting at home
waiting for her to come back from work, when
I felt a terrible presser come over me, I
knew something was wrong. I went to where she
Worked and found that she had left several
hours earlier to go home. I went to the
station where she caught the train every work
night and no one there had seen her that
night. I called a friend of mine that was on
the police force and asked for help, he said
he would do what he could, but I could not
rest, I had to find her. I backtracked her
route to the train and checked every alley
and back street. I found her 2 blocks from
work, laying in a lane way dead. She had been
raped, she was pregnant at the time and she
miscarried. I had lost everything. My wife,
my child, my sanity. I am part Italian part
Native, both cultures believe in vengeance.
In a drunken rage I lashed out and extracted
vengeance from those who were responsible.
Then I dove into a bottle.
That was
September 14 1977, I can't remember anything
else until I woke up some time in late
November and found an empty bottle beside me.
That bottle save my life. I turn to AA for
help and for what reason I don't know, I got
none. My family has a strong will, usually
when we set our mine to something we do
succeed at it. I decided to stop on my own. I
lasted for 5 years and had a few slips after
that. I finally came back to AA after 2.5
years of sobriety and started to become whole
again. I met someone new, who turn out to be
a member. She is really someone special, I
found myself in her eyes and in her words.
She has been through a lot in the last year
and a half, but we did it together. She
brought me back to the fellowship, and for
that I will always be grateful.
Today I'm the
alt GSR for my home group, have been
attending meets since September 95 and have
been active member since October 96. I have
Re-found my faith in a higher power and have
finished school. I am now working as a
computer technician, and am almost happy.
Cheryl and I are together, and even though we
always don't see eye to eye I am happy for
the first time in my life. I have my freedom,
my success, and yes my sanity for that and
more I will always love her, and I will
always thank you the fellowship.
As I had said
earlier, To live sober for a day is a
blessing, to live
Sober for a
lifetime a miracle. Thank you for my miracle.
Live in peace
and love... Let Go and Let GOD.
--
Note: This was
two years ago and a lot has happened since
then, I will be updating this in the very
near future.
...GrayWolf