|
| When God Made Mothers |
 ... Erma Bombeck
- When the
Good Lord was creating Mothers
- He was
into the sixth day of
"overtime" when the angel
appeared and
- said,
"You are doing a lot of fiddling
around with this one."
- And the
Lord said "Have you read the
spec on this order?"
-
- She has
to be completely washable, but not
plastic.
- She must
have 180 moveable parts...all
replaceable,
- Run on
black coffee and leftovers.
- She needs
to have a lap that disappears when
she stands up,
- A kiss
that can cure anything from a broken
leg to a disappointed love
- affair...
and six pairs of hands...
-
- The angel
shook her head slowly and said,
- "Six
pairs of hands...No Way."
- "It's
not the hands that are causing me
problems," said the Lord.
- "It's
the three pairs of eyes that mothers
have to have."
-
- "That's
on the standard model?" asked
the angel.
- The Lord
Nodded.
- "One
pair that sees through closed doors
when she asks,
- 'What are
you kids doing in there?" even
though she already knows.
- Another
here in the back of her head that
sees
- what she
shouldn't but what she has to know,
- and of
course the ones here in the front
that can look
- at a
child when he goofs up and say,
- "I
understand and I love you"
- without
so much as uttering a word.
-
- "Lord,"
said the angel touching his sleeve
gently,
- "come
to bed. Tomorrow..."
-
- "I
can't," said the Lord,
- "I'm
so close to creating something so
close to myself.
- Already I
have one who heals herself when she
is sick...
- can feed
a family of six with one pound of
hamburger...
- and can
get a nine year old to stand under a
shower."
-
- The angel
circled the model of a Mother very
slowly.
- "It's
too soft," she sighed.
-
- "But
tough!" said the Lord excitedly.
- "You
cannot imagine what this Mother can
do or endure."
-
- "Can
it think?"
-
- "Not
only can it think, but it can reason
and compromise,"
- said the
Creator.
- Finally,
the angel bent over and ran a finger
across the cheek.
- "There
is a leak," she pronounced.
- "I
told you, you were trying to put too
much into this model."
-
- "Its
not a leak," said the Lord
"its a tear."
-
- "What's
it for?"
-
- "It's
for joy, sadness, disappointment,
pain, loneliness and pride."
-
- "You
are a genius," said the angel.
-
- The Lord
looked somber.
- "I
didn't put it there......"
|
|
