Anger ranks
high on the list of perplexing, troublesome
emotions. We want to be kind and loving, but
then suddenly we feel a jolt in our heart, an
edge to our voice. Something has been tapped
deep inside. It could be a chunk of old
anger, something we weren't conscious of or
safe enough to feel back then. It may be
current. Something has come into our life
today, and our reaction is anger.
Oh no, we may
think, this isn't what I need. But denying
anger will not bring us joy. Hiding it,
tucking it away deep inside is not the
answer. We may even turn it upon ourselves.
Not feeling anger won't make it go away. Its
energy will still be there, pounding away
inside us and, in subtle ways, pounding away
at others, too. Until we acknowledge our
anger, feel it, and release it, it will keep
us off balance, on edge, and irritable. We
need to give ourselves permission to feel all
our emotions, including anger.
But allowing
yourself to feel angry doesn't mean giving
yourself permission to rage, to hack and
cleave at the world, to verbally abuse those
around you. Find ways to express your anger
with grace and dignity. Park your car, roll
down the windows, and yell. Find a solitary
place, a spot where you are safe, then speak
loudly about how you feel. Write it out.
Shout it out. Pound it out. Go to the gym and
work it out.
Anger can be a
guide. Used creatively, it can help us decide
where to go and where not to go. It can help
us get to the next place in our lives.
Feeling and expressing our anger in
appropriate ways will take us forward to a
place of power within ourselves.
Let yourself
feel angry when anger is what you really
feel. Then get the anger out of your head and
out of your body. Once that's happened,
you'll feel clear. You'll know what to do
next. The path to your heart, to your inner
voice, will be opened. Sometimes getting
angry is exactly what we need to do next.
