My
brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my
sister's bureau and lifted out a
tissue-wrapped package. "This," he
said, "is not a slip. This is
lingerie." He discarded the tissue and
handed me the slip. It was exquisite, silk,
handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace.
The price tag with an astronomical figure on
it was still attached. "Jan bought this
the first time we went to New York, at least
8 or 9 years ago. She never wore it. She was
saving it for a special occasion. Well, I
guess this is the occasion." He took the
slip from me and put it on the bed with the
other clothes we were taking to the
mortician. His hands lingered on the soft
material for a moment, then he slammed the
drawer shut and turned to me. "Don't
ever save anything for a special occasion.
Every day you're alive is a special
occasion."
I remembered
those words through the funeral and the days
that followed when I helped him and my niece
attend to all the sad chores that follow an
unexpected death. I thought about them on the
plane returning to California from the
Midwestern town where my sister's family
lives. I thought about all the things that
she hadn't seen or heard or done. I thought
about the things that she had done without
realizing that they were special.
I'm still
thinking about his words, and they've changed
my life. I'm reading more and dusting less.
I'm sitting on the deck and admiring the view
without fussing about the weeds in the
garden. I'm spending more time with my family
and friends and less time in committee
meetings. Whenever possible, life should be a
Pattern of
experience to savor, not endure. I'm trying
to recognize these moments now and cherish
them.
I'm not
"saving" anything; we use our good
china and crystal for every special
event-such as losing a pound, getting the
sink unstopped, the first camellia blossom.
I wear my good
blazer to the market if I feel like it. My
theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell
out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries
without wincing. I'm not saving my good
perfume for special parties; clerks in
hardware stores and tellers in banks have
noses that function as well as my party-going
friends'.
"Someday"
and "one of these days" are losing
their grip on my vocabulary. If it's worth
seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and
hear and do it now. I'm not sure what my
sister would have done had she known that she
wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take
for granted. I think she would have called
family members and a few close friends. She
might have called a few former friends to
apologize and mend fences for past squabbles.
I like to think she would have gone out for a
Chinese dinner, her favorite food. I'm
guessing-I'll never know.
It's those
little things left undone that would make me
angry if I knew that my hours were limited.
Angry because I put off seeing good Friends
whom I was going to get in touch
with-someday. Angry because I hadn't written
certain letters that I intended to write-one
of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't
tell my husband and daughter often enough how
much I truly love them. I'm trying very hard
not to put off, hold back, or save anything
that would add laughter and luster to our
lives.
And every
morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself
that it is special. Every day, every minute,
every breath truly is...a gift from God.
… Author Unknown.