LEVEL 1:
It's 11:00 on
a weeknight; you've had a few beers. You get
up to leave because you have work the next
day and one of your friends buys another
round. One of your UNEMPLOYED friends. Here
at level one you think to yourself, "Oh
come on, this is silly, why as long as I get
seven hours of sleep (snap fingers), I'm
cool."
LEVEL 2:
It's midnight.
You've had a few more beers. You've just
spent 20 minutes arguing against artificial
turf. You get up to leave again, but at level
two, a little devil appears on your shoulder.
And now you're thinking, "Hey! I'm out
with my friends! What am I working for
anyway? These are the good times! Besides, as
long as I get five hours sleep (snaps
fingers) I'm cool."
LEVEL 3:
One in the
morning. You've abandoned beer for tequila.
You've just spent 20 minutes arguing FOR
artificial turf. And now you're thinking,
"Our waitress is the most beautiful
woman I've ever seen!" At level three,
you love the world. On the way to the
bathroom you buy a drink for the stranger at
the end of the bar just because you like his
face. You get drinking fantasies. (Like,
"Hey fellas, if we bought our own bar,
we could live together forever. We could do
it. Tommy, you could cook.") But at
level three, that devil is a little bit
bigger.... And he's buying. And you're
thinking "Oh, come on, come on now. As
long as I get three hours sleep...and a
complete change of blood (snaps fingers), I'm
cool.".
LEVEL 4:
Two in the
morning. And the devil is bartending. For
last call, you ordered a bottle of rum and a
Coke. You ARE artificial turf! This time on
your way to the bathroom, you punch the
stranger at the end of the bar. Just because
you don't like his face! And now you're
thinking, "Our busboy is the best
looking man I've ever seen." You and
your friends decide to leave, right after you
get thrown out, and one of you knows an
...after hours bar. And here, at level four,
you
actually think
to yourself, "Well....as long as I'm
only going to get a few hours sleep anyway, I
may as well....STAY UP ALL NIGHT!!!! Yeah!
That'd be good for me. I don't mind going to
that board meeting looking like Keith
Richards. Yeah, I'll turn that around, make
it work for me. And besides, as long as I get
31 hours sleep tomorrow
...................cool.
LEVEL 5:
Five in the
morning. after unsuccessfully trying to get
your money back at the tattoo parlor
("But I don't even know anybody named
Ruby!!!"), you and your friends wind up
across the state line in a bar with guys who
have been in prison as recently as...that
morning. It's the kind of place where even
the devil is going, "Uh, I gotta turn
in. I gotta be in Hell- at nine. I've got
that brunch with Hitler, I can't miss
that." At this point, you're all
drinking some kind of thick blue liquor, like
something from a Klingon wedding. A waitress
with fresh stitches comes over, and you think
to yourself, "Someday I'm gonna marry
that girl!!" One of your friends stands
up and screams, "WE'RE DRIVIN' TO
FLORIDA!!!!!" and passes out. You crawl
outside for air , and then you hit the worst
part of level five- the sun. You weren't
expecting that were you? You never do. You
walk out of a bar in daylight, and you see
people on their way to work, or jogging. And
they look at you and they know. And they
say..."Who's Ruby?" Let's be
honest, if you're 19 and you stay up all
night, it's like a victory like you've beat
the night, but if you're over 30, then that
sun is like God's flashlight. We all say the
same prayer then, "I swear, I will never
do this again (how long?) as long as I
live!" And some of us have that little
addition, "and this time, I mean
it!"
… Author Unknown.